word choice - How can we refer to women we don't know

How can we name female people whose name we dont know when we refer to them?

I was in a situation in which I talked to a female person who works at information desk in a company and after I talked to her , I talked to someone else in the same place.So in this situation how can we refer to the first person I talked to if we do not her name and she is about in middle-ages like 35.

Should I say:

1.The lady I talked to on reception desk said that.. (for me it sounds fancy)

2.The woman I talked to on reception desk said that.. (for me it sounds a bit rude )

3.The girl I talked to on reception desk said that.. ( for me it sounds unfitting)

4.The ma'am I talked to on reception desk said that..

5.Another option

I wrote what I feel for some options but I can be wrong. Thank you

Answer

This is generationally and regionally variable. I am answering for the West Coast of the United States.

1.The lady I spoke with at the reception desk said that..

Feels slightly casual to my ears, but is frequently used.

2.The woman I spoke with at the reception desk said that..

In most cases I would chose this one.

3.The girl I spoke with at the reception desk said that..

Unless she is much, much younger than me (high school age), I would not say this. People older than me - say 50-55 and up would say this with no disrespect intended, even if the woman is their own age.

4.The ma'am I spoke with at the reception desk said that..

I sometimes use ma'am when addressing women directly. I would absolutely never refer to a woman in the third person as a ma'am or the ma'am unless she ran a brothel. It sounds too much like madam.

5. The gal I spoke with at the reception desk said that..

This is common in the West, especially among people from rural areas.

So - In my region, #4 is one to categorically avoid. #3 is only slightly better. You'll hear #5 used, but unless you have flawless English and can let it out in a lazy drawl, I would steer clear there too. #1 isn't bad, and #2 is your best bet.

I will be curious to hear what people from other places say.